Dealing with Disappointments
Usually for me, disappointment brings dread. The dread brings panic. And panic attacks hard. It used to feel like my body was ready for battle 24/7. Paranoia was parked inside my heart, slowing its rhythm. People call it anxiety. They will give you something for it, if you want.
Today something changed. When I heard the news that they moved my discharge date, once again… I was distraught. Mostly because I miss my family and the role that I ran away from to come here. Granted, it could have been much worse. I could have made a more permanent exit prior to escape the responsibilities of rearing the lives that I so defiantly brought into this world. I love them too much to abandon their adorable beings. Distraught feelings only packed tears today instead of a rapid filled river quickly moving downstream into the depths of depression. I will get out. I will go home.
I’ve spent a week filling up with the stories of others. The ‘Tall Tales’ of our traumas. I got to learn to listen, and truly hear. What else is there to do here? For the first time in a long time, I feel a deeply drawn excitement to return to the scene that made me move. That motivated me to move in a whole new direction. One where I can find clarity. One where I can find peace. One where I can be a little better than I was before all of this. This is the planting of my seed.
Seed
A seed in its simplest, is an option. The first few weeks of the year, we decide what seeds we will be starting in the warmth of our home or greenhouses. Some seeds should be sown indoors before the beginning of the outdoor season while some seeds should be sown directly in the ground after the last threat of cold. Plants, like people, have their preferences affixed from very early on. It’s important to understand the basic preferences of plants as they phase through their life cycles. Depending on the species and variety, plants’ individual needs can be dramatically different. For example, you may have heard the term perennial plant vs annual plant.
A perennial plant is preferably planted in a location where it will be cherished and cared for for years to come. This plant will return year after year if properly planted and maintained.
An annual plant you’ll expect to replace yearly, though some varieties will reseed themselves at the end of the season and create a new patch after the winter passes.
There are always exceptions to the rules. That being said, get to know what you’re planting and it’s itinerary of milestones to ensure proper observation of its growth.
